Thoughts & Things

i go home in nine days! can't wait...it's time to start buckling down for finals but i'm just exhausted and am trying to stave off getting sick again through excess sleep...at least that's my rationale.

i cannot WAIT to go home! i'm drooling thinking of all the amazing food that awaits me...thai temple, cheeseboard, brazil cafe, cha am, cafe grat...yum! i'm so glad that i get to spend the 8 most fun filled days of the year with the friends and family i love (christmas, my birthday, and new year's) it's nice to know that even if no spectacular party presents itself i'll still be surrounded by the people who make my life so amazing! i love all my friends here in boston, but there's no replacing the girls and boys of berkeley.

a belated thanksgiving picture:

so, lily and i found out that we hadn't been paying our gas bill...much to my surprise, it is not connected to the electricity bill. we made this discovery when we came home to a strong odor of gas and none of the burners would light. when the gas company finally arrived to check out the problem, they instead just shut off our gas. we've decided to not deal with it until we come back from break in january, so we're living mainly raw (minus food stuffs that can be prepared through microwave) until we both leave late next week.

even so, i've been making some very delicious food for myself! this cold weather has been making me crave soup, which i eat pretty much every day for lunch...and i've become the master of tofu-based vegan salad dressing! also, lily and i are about halfway through our THIRD case of 30 fuyu persimmons....it is just entirely out of control. apparently, too many persimmons can cause bezors, so we'll see who gets one first...

thanksgiving was fantastic but exhausting; my sister and i baked 50 potato rolls! we also made sauteed kale, cabbage with fennel and chestnuts, roasted string beans and sweet potatoes, roasted brussel sprouts with lemon thyme olive oil, a vegan apple persimmon cake, and chase made onion jams. other people brought other things, but i pretty much only ate what we had made! i had managed the whole night keeping up my happy vegan diet until hokan, sarah's chocolatier roommate opened up the truffles he had brought....it was really quite insane. there was milk chocolate with pop rocks, baileys, white chocolate with pear, licorice with black cocoa powder (SO good!) chunks of milk chocolate with rice crisp...i think that was all, but he brought at least 60!

it was quite the experience; we got to my cousin's new (and beautiful) apartment in midtown at around 1, and about twenty minutes later opened the beer. we had dinner at 4.30, and by then the wine had been flowing for about an hour. it's all a blur from there! not entirely, but my god, i drank so much. talei's friend from london arrived late with a cheesecake, a bottle of whiskey, and diet coke. things REALLY went downhill from there! i texted everyone telling them how much i loved them, and sent multiple other texts to my non-meat eater friends telling them to stay strong. !!

regardless, it was a lovely time. so far this week i've completed two papers, and am now working on the third and final one for the week that's due friday. i haven't really done much of anything for it but i think i'm going to write about "the photo: the death of reality" ha! such melodrama. but generally discuss the inherent truth/fiction of photography, based on what i've read in On Photography by Sontag. I hope it works.

this weekend i need to think about christmas gifts...which sounds almost more stressful than my papers this week!

jeanne-claude, christo's wife died today. i love all their work, especially the more earth-based ventures. i like the philosophy on which their art is based: “ the quality of love and tenderness that we human beings have for what does not last.”

i was exhausted today, i got home and the men fixing the heating kept walking in and out while i sat on the couch eating veggies and green goddess dressing...then moving on to vegan choc chips, raisins and almonds. i was not relaxed. the main success of my day was discovering ginger green tea.

instead of going out to daisy's, at 11 o clock i decided to go on a cleaning rampage, regina spektor at full blast. my home is just so incomplete! we really do not have enough furniture, but i suppose that's mostly due to our lack of transportation...not having a car can be incredibly inconvenient.

thanksgiving is so soon! this time of year time just speeds up so fast; wednesday morning i'm heading to new york, thursday is thanksgiving obviously and i'll probably leave the city early saturday morning if i don't finish any of my papers before i leave. after that, it's just two weeks before classes end, and lucky for me i don't have any finals until 17th so i have some extra time to revise. then home on the 19th! i couldn't be more excited.

i can't believe what daylight savings does to the day! it's not even five and almost totally dark.

in any case, i'm curled up on the couch trying to build up some energy to do calculus and read. i've been eating raw for almost a week and i feel really great! except i've been drinking tea nonstop, and i don't know how raw that is. tuesday night brynn came over and we made really yummy nori rolls with ginger almond paste, avocado, carrot and spinach. we made our own almond milk, and mint chocolate walnut bars! i haven't felt so satisfied from a meal in forever.

eating this way and talking about it with my friends has made me so much more appreciative of growing up in berkeley. growing up, my mom would always throw me a raw ear of corn to munch on as a snack, and that's really how i prefer it. lily was completely shocked when she saw me eating uncooked corn with some lemon, salt and pepper. i miss the variety of produce that is so ready available so much! monterey market, i pine for you.

but, new england has a different sort of nature of which i take advantage. fall really is absolutely amazing over here, but only off the main drag that BU occupies. i'm off to new york this saturday because my aunt is visiting my cousin still, and i think i'm heading off to the north end tomorrow to stock up on persimmons and corn, and stop by mike's pastries to get some goodies for the aunt!

so i think i've figured it out! well...that might be pushing it.

but i have a new approach. in all my readings over the last two months if feel as though i've learned a lot, but i definitely haven't applied it to my own life. and what's the point of that? though i disagree with much of what kupfer says in "aesthetics in everyday life," his general point definitely hits a chord with me: aesthetically rounded and fulfilling experiences better a person. with that in mind, i'm planning on taking a proactive approach to appreciating and taking advantage of my surroundings and myself.

the past few days i've been in killer pain with the flu, and after doing some reading on the raw diet (liz!) i've decided to try it out starting this weekend when i have the energy to go on a thorough food-stuffs adventure. food has such an odd role in everyone's lives, and i'd rather control quite strictly what i eat, and be the ultimate gatekeeper of my body! processed things just really are not what we're meant to be eating, obviously, and i think i'm going to do a test run (tentatively a week! but longer if i like it...) and see if it makes a difference in my mood and general feelings of health.

all in all, i intend to surround myself with things that can't bring me down. beautiful things lead to more beautiful things!!

i think im going to vomit, i feel so shitty. today the dad of the girls i babysit commented on my clothing after i put on my jacket because i was cold, saying "well yah i mean you aren't wearing anything! did you wear that to class?"

grr....

from brynn's birthday forever ago! disposables are too good.

so lately i've been feeling like there's not much point to me going out and blacking out every weekend...i usually just embarass myself and get sloppy etc etc. so wouldn't it be just way more productive to not go out and focus on school and do really well? i'm leaning toward yes. my main motivation in going out is to seduce someone, i think, but if i don't go out then i won't be bummed when my friends bail on me for their boyfriends/men/whatever and i'll be reminded less often of my own failed attempts to join their ranks of ditchers-for-boyfriends. of course, i intend to put this plan into place after halloween, because i love dressing up. i think i need to center myself, i'm becoming manic about weird, weird things.

yesterday and today have been especially weird. i found out yesterday that ms clymer died a week ago. i'm kind of freaking out about it, but i havent told any of my friends. just my mom. i haven't been this upset in a really long time. it's just sad to think that someone who was such a big part of my formative years (12-16) is gone, and her little babies don't have their mom any more. i've always thought that i'm not afraid of death, just of getting old, but i just can't imagine how heartbreaking it must have been for her to find out right after she had her second baby that she had terminal cancer. i really wish i was at home right now. things are weird.

but i like boston more. i want to go on adventures this weekend. photos on the train tracks in costume to come soon.

in bed with my new boyfriend, art history and set your goals. and the internet

good night.

sitting on the couch watching bridezillas eating nutella watching the snow outside

last night was fun, the house is a mess. finally got some attention haha

big weekend over here. my sister came up to visit, so did jocelyn. it's the head of the charles, welcome to fall in the northeast. it's in the 40s, the sun is shining and the leaves are red. and i actually like it this year!

i'm going to a semi vegan bakery with my sister and hopefully roommate in jamaica plain in a little bit...it sounds sooo good

we're having a pretty pretty princess birthday party for brynn tonight.

and i have two soul-crushing midterms next week. :)

no way is drinking excessively a weight loss tool!??!??? maybe it's the dehydration but i weight less than 130 pounds now

fuck yes, merav just got into town and i am seeing her tomorrow. i also just realized that this week is going to be the most music-filled experience EVER and i could not be more excited.


semi precious weapons tomorrow, emi's birthday is tuesday, (and my first day babysitting), thursday juliette lewis, fri/sat/sun is the great american hardcore fest, and monday is starfucker. i'm about to be so broke and so happy.

yesss

mom and roommate love

emi and myselffffffff at my home

i hella like the reading for my 20th century american art class so far; actually i like every class i'm taking and think i want to add a fifth but if so i should probably do that soon.

"art is too emotional to respond to coercion or discipline"

yes!

my roommate is blasting macy gray, i am wearing my doggy slippers and a flannel and no pants on the couch. ecstasy, yes.

i got back from cabo thursday night! it was so great. lots of photos to follow:

im on a boat!

coronas alllllll day

adams are no bueno! we dont talk to adams (in the bandana, he was quickly asked to leave because of his name, the man next to me, on the other hand, was welcome to stay.)

i love my friends!


i am going to san diego tomorrow foreverrrrrr haha i hope it is fun!!!

i am now using this as a way to remember certain songs i guess!


Echo (Explicit Album Version) - Gorilla Zoe

VS.

Pillow Talk - KiD CuDi

Asleep - The Smiths

this

all day


im living in san diegooooo this summer!!

got my septum pierced, dont know if i like it. currently sitting with nose in glass of water, no way can this be cute. too cold to tan naked outside, fuck you world. went to santa cruz sat and sun, sf on the in between night so lots of driving. malibu/oc on wednesday?? wait thats tomorrow so hope not, possibly thursday. i think i will wear a maxi dress to graduation, yay. i need employment and secretly really want to work at cafe gratitude but my mom says it wouldnt be fun to work with so many aggressive lesbians. she could be right.

picture:

it is 8.05 am

i just finished blow drying my hair after revising my essay a lil bit. i couldnt go to sleep last night because of too much adderall so from 4 am to 7 am i desperately searched for one juicy swim suit online but to no avail. why is life so hard!!

on the brighter side i have decided what i want to wear to lady gaga (hannah plz get a ticket!!) so now i just have to purchase the main components. i am now going to watch an episode of its always sunny in philadelphia and then get dressed and ready, go officially change my major/get new advisor, and then read and study until my classes start.

i saw hollywood undead at the new house of blues tonight, and holy fuck it is a sick venue. but even moreeeeeeee i am OBSESSED with funny man from hollywood undead, he looks straight up like heath ledger. ahhhhhhhh i go home tomorrow for a week yayo